Navigating Your Child Custody Case in Colorado
Child custody and parenting time in Colorado involve decisions about your children’s care and future. At The Law Office of Andi Grace Davis, I help parents in Boulder County and the surrounding Colorado Front Range navigate allocation of parental responsibilities, including parenting time and decision-making.
As a mom myself, I understand that the stakes just don’t get any higher than when someone is making decisions about your children’s future. Sometimes, abusive partners and their lawyers turn children into pawns as a way to apply pressure on the other side. Too often judges literally “split the baby” without understanding what that means for a child’s emotional wellbeing. At The Law Office of Andi Grace Davis, serving Boulder County, Lafayette, Louisville, and the surrounding Colorado Front Range, I represent parents who put their children first, and whose first priority is to protect their children from the conflict and hurt involved in divorce. I know that children are not pawns, and that emotional abuse can have an impact as harmful and as long-term as physical abuse. I also know that each family is different, and that even in the same family, two siblings can be as different as night and day.
I work closely with my clients to understand their children’s gifts and challenges. I coach my clients about how to protect their children without putting their children in the middle or without giving the other side material that can be used against them in court. Many of my clients rely on me for guidance about how to have coparenting conversations with a high conflict ex, or how to navigate difficult parenting decisions with an ex who is looking for reasons to take them back to court.
The good news is that children are more resilient than you may think, and that having one stable adult who offers them unconditional love can predict success for their future even in the face of trauma and conflict.
How the World (and the Court) Sees Your Kids
Some of the best parenting plans come from mediated agreements, where you and your ex work together to come up with a plan for your children post-divorce. However, when settlement talks break down, my clients then must turn to a judge, a stranger who knows nothing about their children, to decide what their children’s lives will look like going forward. Too often lawyers focus court time on building a case about why the other parent is “bad,” without ever focusing on the unique needs of the child at the center of the case. I work with my clients to make sure we have a plan for how we are going to educate the judge about the routines that are important to your children, what allows them to shine, and what throws them off their game. This is especially true if your children have special needs, or ongoing medical issues.
Keeping good records about your children’s therapy, medical issues, IEPs, and 504 programs is essential. I recommend that my clients maintain a journal or calendar to show who is taking the child to the doctor or tutoring. I also encourage my clients to keep text messages and notes from important conversations with the other parent. We will work on establishing a record of the care you give your child on a daily basis and the security of the home life you have provided for your child.
Child Custody and Parenting Time: Allocation of Parental Responsibilities
Whether you reach a mediated settlement agreement, or need to have a judge decide what life will look like for your children, you need to be thinking about two related but different questions:
- When will each parent have parenting time?
- How will important decisions be made regarding the children?
Parenting time, sometimes called a custody schedule, considers where the children spend the night, and when they see each parent. Parenting schedules can include provisions for where the children spend time after school, vacations and how holidays are to be divided.
Under Colorado law, the allocation of decision-making responsibility outlines how important decisions, like medical care and educational issues, will be decided.
I work closely with my clients to make sure that I understand the needs of the child, the ability of the parents to meet those needs, the child’s past relationship with each parent, and whether cooperation and coparenting has been possible in the past. The court will also look at factors including the mental and physical health of the parents, and the ability of the parents to encourage contact between the child and the other parent.
My goal with both mediated settlement agreements and court orders is to create a clear plan that everyone understands, that cuts down on disagreements, and is durable enough to last for a while to come without needing to return to court.
Domestic Violence, Coercive Control, and Abuse
Where both parents are trying their best, courts like to see children have plenty of time with each parent. However, Colorado takes extra precautions to protect children when there has been domestic violence, “coercive control,” and/or a history of child abuse or neglect. While coercive control is a relatively new factor under Colorado law, courts take seriously cases where one parent has been isolated from friends and family, has been regularly monitored, forced to do things they did not want to do, degraded, threatened with harm, threatened with deportation, threatened with exposure of sexually explicit photos or videos, threatened harm to pets as a form of coercion, or told that if they didn’t do something, the other parent would commit suicide. Often these issues go hand in hand with substance abuse and/or mental health problems. Often my clients are ashamed to tell me some of these details. However, the concept of coercive control is not new to me as an attorney, and I have seen it take all these forms and more during my career. I remind my clients, that they have nothing to be ashamed of and that the blame should remain squarely with their ex who engaged in these behaviors. Remember, as your attorney, I am here to fight for you and stand up for what you need. I am on your side.
Setting the Tone for Future Coparenting
As a lawyer, I know that no two child custody and parenting time cases are the same. In some cases, I need to act quickly to protect my client’s children from dangerous behavior of the other parent. In that case, emergency motions may be filed and we may be going to court quickly. In other cases, it’s important to not increase the conflict and hostility in the case. Many lawyers do not recognize that in treating every case as World War III that they do a disservice to their clients and their children who then have to show up together at soccer practice after getting served with paperwork or being cross examined in court. I will work with you to make sure that we strike the right balance between protecting your children and not creating unnecessary conflict and bad feelings.
Getting the Right Experts
Colorado custody cases may require experts to help the judge make the best decision for your children. Child and Family Investigators (CFIs) are often appointed by Colorado courts to do limited investigations which may involve home visits and/or interviews. Some CFIs have mental health backgrounds, and others are attorneys with specialized training. Parental Responsibilities Evaluators (PREs) are licensed mental health professionals who conduct psychological testing and create much more in depth reports for the courts. PREs are often expensive and require a longer period of time to complete their reports. Child Legal Representatives (CLRs) are attorneys with specialized training appointed by the court to be a neutral advocate for your children. In some high conflict cases, courts will appoint Parenting Coordinators (PCs) to help facilitate discussion between the parties. If both parents agree, a Parenting Coordinator and Decision-Maker (PCDM) may be appointed to resolve disputes that arise between the parties. Either party may ask the court for a de novo hearing if they disagree with the decision of the PCDM. Sometimes other mental health and substance abuse experts can be involved and/or testify if needed.
Modifying Parenting Time and the Allocation of Decision Making
Sometimes the needs of your children change over time, or issues may arise with one parent. In these cases, you should talk to your lawyer about filing a Motion to Modify Parenting Time or a Motion to Restrict Parenting Time if your child is in imminent physical or emotional danger.
Finding Your Strength in the Process
The child custody and parenting time process moves through stages, and I will be with you for every single one. I make sure that you understand your options, that you feel prepared for the next step, and if you need to testify, I make sure that you approach that with confidence. No matter how nervous you may feel, I guarantee I have had clients who are more nervous. It is my job to make sure we address all issues that the judge or mediator needs to hear, so don’t worry about forgetting something.
Often my clients find strength and a sense of relief when they are finally able to tell their side of the story and advocate for their children. My clients often feel that in these moments, they are role modeling perseverance and resilience for their children.
It’s not just about an order; it’s about giving your children a safe future and a second chance for you. You and your children have had to endure a lot for a very long time. It’s okay to seek help now.
You are ready for this. Let’s talk about how we can protect your family’s future together.